The Wedding / Thu 2, Fri 3 BBC1
The big one. No, not Ian's ego, but the episode we've all been waiting for; the wedding. In a one-hour special (and working on the rough equation of twice the length making for ten times the drama) Peggy is preparing to tie the knot with Archie. For quite some time we've been screaming, even hurling things at, the tv screen in a desperate bid to make poor Peggy listen, but alas she goes ahead and marries him, the epitome of east-end evil. A hushed row at the altar is just the beginning though; back at the Vic, Ronnie catches Danielle attempting (in a strange turn of events) to kidnap baby Amy; naturally she assumes insanity and throws Danielle out, but not before Danielle, after six searingly-long months, finally confesses the truth, giving us the best "You're my muvvah!" moment since, well... "You're my muvvah!", that fateful time when the Slater slappers dominated, pre-Branning brats.

Anyhow, back to the point. Ronnie finds the locket in her champagne glass (and where better to ensure something is found in Walford than placing it near alcohol?) and suddenly Archie's world falls apart. As threatened by Enigmatic Voiceover Lady, he is no longer in control! Ronnie, desperate to find Danielle, makes her way to Stacey's, but she too busy spewing her guts up to keep an eye on depressive Dani. Eventually she catches her outside the tube station - naturally. Things get really emotional now. "Baby", mouths Ronnie, and Dani runs her way. A happy ending! Well... not quite. Janine, ruiner of all things good and consumed by rage for Jack and 'Fat Pat', plows Danielle down in the middle of the road. And there she lies, dieing in Ronnie's arms. It's an immensely sad moment, the shock value of which isn't likely to be repeated for some time. Ronnie shrieks for her daughter, the family which could've been. Without any doubt, this episode will be looked back on alongside the likes of the Max/Stacey and Kat/Zoe reveals, tissues dabbing eyes.

Friday's follow-up episode was perfectly-judged and just as upsetting. Much of Walford is in a state of shock - except, of course, for Ian Beale, who will do anything to overhear a tidbit of gossip. Peggy and Pat have gone to stay with Aunt Sal (and how I wish she was my aunt); incredibly, Archie thinks himself welcome at the Vic, where even Phil doesn't both reddening the skin of his fists. Again Samantha Janus gets us going as she begs Dani's incensed adoptive father (whose lament that she had 'everything' in Telford provides a rare chortle) not to stop her from attending the funeral. Episodes like this are a poignant reminder of why Eastenders is truly the country's finest soap opera.

Wed 1 BBC1
If the opener to series five of The Apprentice was ever-so-slightly underwhelming, tonight's second episode was a classic. The task, to put on lunch for city-goers and later provide a business firm with an evening to remember. The teams, an utter shambles. Empire, brimming with male businessmen the UK probably shouldn't be proud of, decided to dress as greek olympians to impress a throng of high-flying lawyers. Because obviously having paid £15 a head, these lot really fancied being served cheese on sticks by unattractive, half-naked lumps.

The girls fared somewhat better but they were hardly without embarassment; I defy anybody to watch Kate squirm as the client asks which snacks will be served, and how. "Bruschetta, which is... always a favourite", she murmurs, not even bothering to pretend she knows her stuff. And later in the boardroom, Margaret informed Sralan of another girls' team faux pas with the hilarious one-liner "somebody slipped a hair into one of the salads, to compensate." Proof, as if it were needed, that a Margaret and Nick-fronted spin-off is a must.

Wed 1 BBC1
Waterloo Road is not a pleasing place today. Not one bit. Travellers have arrived and, being the charitable force that he is, Eddie has decided to enroll them at school. Sadly for us, the central character, scouse Kyle, is exceptionally irritating. His 'spontaneous' poem, a cause for much swooning by silly Sambuca, made me cringe until my face actually hurt. Hurt! The first fourty minutes, constructed around said gypsies, were excrutiating. Thankfully, though, the ever-reliable Janeece provided some relief from the 'skags', as phrased so eloquently by Paul, by parading her new assets around college, much to Kim's annoyance.

The show feels like it's hurting from something right now. It'll be interesting to see where they take it later in the season, with the divine Davina, preposterously-underused of late, departing soon. Surely she and Tom can't split? Hopefully she'll be killed off (she is my favourite!). Leaving in a cab for Spain or America, the only two locations characters ever leave for, would be immensely unsatisfying.

1.01 / Tue 31 BBC1
First things first, if you're tuning in expect something even half as delightfully delicious as Mistresses, whose time slot All The Small Things has taken, tune out right now. This is an altogether inferior affair. That's not to say it's not good, it just doesn't seem to know what it is. There's comedy (perhaps better described as light amusement actually) in the forms of broad-accented characters with wobbly guts but Big Hearts (they're a community, you see). There's drama; Esther's teenage son Kyle has Aspergers and is bullied by thuggish chavs from the school. But there's not really any balance.

The plot is particularly ropey too. Sarah Lancashire excels as Esther, a country kind of girl with no especially big ambitions; she just enjoys the company of her family, and her friends at the church choir around which the show is centred. Her husband Michael (Neil Pearson) is content too, until Layla (Sarah Alexander, who it seems is not choosy with her roles) turns up at choir practice. She's young and glamorous, and instantly Michael is besotted. However for apparently no reason at all he breaks it off with his wife, citing that he's bored of her rose-tinted prognosis of life, and embarks on an affair with Layla. Then he tells Esther about the affair and asks that she remain patient until, basically, he's got it out of his system. Yes, that is genuinely what happens.

Kyle, a huge Blink-182 fan, is played with a touching sincerity by the previously-awful Richard Fleeshman, but sometimes the soppyness is laid on too hard. There are some interesting characters; Esther, her daughter, and new-in-town jack-the-lad Jake. It just all feels slightly tired. The Chase, Gaynor Faye's short-lived BBC1 drama based around a vetinary practice, did the whole families-and-fallouts-in-the-country thing a lot better. Ultimately All The Small Things has potential, but I doubt, somehow, that it will ever reach it.

Tue 31 BBC1
There's one problem with tonight's episode of Holby. Jac isn't an evil cow. She's vulnerable (you heard me right!). What's with that? I was never under the illusion that she was a proper, crusty crap 24/7 - she needs to sleep, for one - but actually seeing a flicker of humanity is utterly disheartening. Either way, see it we do, as she and Joseph get cosy in the operating theatre. They've been locked in; a patient is contaminated, two doctors are down, a third is dead, and Joseph and Jac are all alone. Perhaps most shocking is that Joseph confesses that he doesn't love Faye in the same way that he does Jac - so why are you hogging her? Give her up! It's Linden's turn, surely! Still, it's a tense, dramatic installment which displays significant edge over nearly every other UK serial drama.

Tue 31 BBC1
It's very kind of Eastenders to give us a nice little dose of amusement before the wedding on Thursday, which will undoubtedly be the most explosive and darkly depressing episode in quite some time. Thus we get to see Peggy and her crew - not all middle-aged, but all acting it - attempting to cheer-lead, pom-poms in hand. Apparently Biology is a twenty-minute song, but no matter, because it gets the Mitchell matriarch enjoying herself again, something we've come to suspect is missing from her relationship with Archie the Arse.

Now, perhaps we should grab the tissues - it's nearly wedding day...

2.09 'The Family Vacation' Mon 30 E4
Samantha has decided a holiday is what will take her mind off endless men troubles, so her parents take she and Dana to a log cabin where they holidayed years earlier. Andrea, bitterly jealous at not being invited, rents out the cabin next door, much to Regina's annoyance - until she finds alcohol (her hiding place is ingenius). The comic details, such as Dena repeatedly telling people to remove Samantha's shoelaces or lock the car childlocks so she can't kill herself, are fantastically-observed. Once again the strength of the famale cast is blindingly apparent as Samantha's dad plays charades with the four women; Dena is especially enthusiastic, a slumped Regina watching on drunkenly. Perfect.